赌桌上的扑克英雄

　　你有没有想过会发生什么事，像蝙蝠侠，“夺宝奇兵”，达斯维达和其他银幕明星莫名其妙地发现自己坐在赌桌打高赌注的扑克游戏？如果你还没有，我们会解决你的麻烦，并会给你时间，让你知道银幕上的英雄和恶棍如何玩自己的扑克游戏的。

　　达斯维达

　　达斯维达将在牌桌上是占很大的分量的。穿着他的黑色机器人风暴路霸西装再配上一个卡保护光佩剑，前面的人看来觉得这是部队黑暗的一面，将在最喜欢的一个赔率上取下来下注。优势：从达斯维德身上，从头到脚覆盖在他身上有光泽的黑色盔甲上的商标，在技术上是不可能的。再加上他那沉重的呼吸，这使得对手需要考虑调用他的超级积极的赌注和重新投注，如果这样，你确实是一个很厉害的扑克玩家。劣势：这种充满杀气的时刻随时都会过去，所以说达斯维达有一个时机的问题。缺乏时机可能结合起来，过分积极的发挥，会导致达斯维达吹他的栈单手，（这大概不会是一个由帝国bankrolled玩家出现的问题）。获胜后摊牌，大喊“谁是我爸爸”，可能因为他的比赛推迟以致达斯维达成功。

　　“夺宝奇兵”

　　印第安纳琼斯在牌桌上的风流倜傥打动其他玩家。琼斯将结合与他具有讽刺意味的傻笑轻松，以及积极进攻的打法，把所有其他玩家都打败在他们的游戏赌桌上。优势：任何有经验的扑克职业选手会告诉你，你不能不是一个成功的玩家，而同时也要承担一些风险。在面临坑蛇，患有老年痴呆症的高神父和纳粹的时候，想必印第安纳·琼斯也是没问题，他把他的整个堆栈放一起，而在锅里中间只放一双。劣势：印度·琼斯表现出每一个痛苦的迹象。因此，人们期望他缺乏耐心，通过其结论来看一场比赛。虽然他受到恐吓，最后还是赢得了不少。最终，他被一个更有经验的玩家在赌桌上打败。

　　新

　　矩阵三部曲的主角是一个天生的扑克玩家的符号，他作战时是从计算机系统劫持的地球以保存人类。优势：新一直是祝福与自然的扑克脸。事实上，他给人的种种迹象表明，他只有一个面部表情，表示发生什么事情都无所谓。新将提供源源不断的从他的经销商睡眠的红色药丸，并因此能够看到任何欺骗手段，并呼吁摒弃所有的虚张声势。劣势：新具有可预测性但是缺乏侵略性。虽然他能够毫不费力地读懂对手，清楚他的倾向，假装让他的对手追捕他，防止被利用情况的发生，他是通过使用高风险的进取次来获胜的。

　　小丑

　　看起来有点精神错乱，在玩扑克时有一定的优势，所以常常表现出喜欢菲尔Hellmuth，麦克马图索和Humberto布雷内斯。小丑几乎是这三名玩家的组合，结合Hellmuth的不稳定，詹森的冗长和布雷内斯与琼河的彻头彻尾的潇洒。优势：不可预测的核心是一个说笑话的天才。即使是世界上最好的玩家也将那小丑没辙。缺点：神志不清确实有它的缺陷，可以预期小丑会因此而失去所有的连接器，他是通过他的底牌舌剪纸，由此打败他的对手。

　　“终结者”

　　虽然终结者缺乏理智，他会在赌桌上将最棘手的玩家击败。与单调的对话和无法感知相结合的特点，类似的面具，只是在“终结者”阿森纳的武器一起锯短的猎枪和火箭弹才可以见识到，当然这是很少出现的。优势：作为一个扑克玩家，“终结者”有很多事情，但最终的事实是，他未来将导致他走他的对手“bankrolls的路。 “终结者”将只需要在ESPN重新运行观看比赛，回到过去，并适当地纠正他的做法。弱点：“终结者”是永久的过去和未来，这涉及到相当的时间旅行和搞乱时间和空间的结构之间的战争。因此，每一个机会，他可能会自发地停止游戏曾经存在的随机时刻。

　　译文

　　Have you ever wondered what would happen if Batman, Indiana Jones, Darth Vader and other stars of the silver screen somehow found themselves sitting around a baize table playing a high stakes poker game? If you haven’t, we’ve saved you the trouble, and put in the hours to determine how some of the biggest heroes and villains from the silver screen would conduct themselves in a game of poker.

　　Darth Vader

　　Darth Vader would be a formidable presence at a poker table. Decked out in his black robotic storm-trooper suit, with a light sabre as a card protector, the front-man for the dark side of the Force would be an odds on favourite to take down the big pots. Strengths: Obtaining a tell from Darth Vader is technically impossible as he’d be covered head to toe in his trademark shiny black armour. Throw in the heavy breathing as opponents consider calling his super-aggressive bets and re-raises, and you have a very formidable poker player indeed. Weaknesses: If the death star incident is anything to go by, Darth Vader has a problem with timing. Lack of timing could potentially combine with over-aggressive play to cause Darth Vader to blow his stack on a single hand, （which would probably not be an issue for a player bankrolled by The Empire）。 Yelling out ‘who’s my daddy’ after winning showdowns might be effective in putting Darth Vader off his game.

　　Indiana Jones

　　Indiana Jones has an abundance of the suave cool required to impress other players at the poker table. Jones would combine loose-aggressive play with his ironic smirk, to put all the other players at the table off their games. Strengths: Any experienced poker pro will tell you that you can’t be a successful player without taking some risks. Having faced pits of snakes, demented high priests and Nazis, Indy would have no problem putting his whole stack in the pot while holding middle pair. Weaknesses: Indian Jones shows every sign of suffering from ADD. One could therefore expect him to lack the patience to see a game through to its conclusion. Whilst he’d win some big pots with his intimidating, loose plays, he’d ultimately be taken down at a later stage in the hand being played by a more experienced player.

　　Neo

　　The protagonist of the Matrix trilogy showed every sign of being a born poker player, as he battled to save humanity from the computer system that had hijacked earth. Strengths: Neo has been blessed with a natural poker face. In fact he gives every indication that he has only one facial expression – one that expresses nothing much at all. Neo would also be supplied with a steady stream of red pills from his dealer Morpheus, and would therefore be able to see through any deception and call all bluffs. Weaknesses: Neo appears to be predictable and lacking in aggression. Whilst he would be able to read opponents effortlessly, his tendency to allow his opponents to hunt him down, would prevent him from taking advantage of situations by using high-risk aggressive plays.

　　The Joker

　　Being a bit unhinged can be a definite advantage in poker, as the likes of Phil Hellmuth, Mike Matusow and Humberto Brenes have so often demonstrated. The Joker is virtually a combination of these three players, combining Hellmuth’s instability, Matusow’s verbosity and Brenes’ downright nuttiness with a makeup job fit for Joan Rivers. Strengths: Unpredictability is the core of the Joker’s genius. Even the finest player in the world would struggle to put the Joker on a range or establish a read. Weaknesses: Being insane does have its disadvantages. The Joker could be expected to go all-in with unsuited connectors, give his tongue paper cuts with his hole cards, and kill his adversaries.

　　The Terminator

　　Although the Terminator lacks intellect, he’d be the toughest player at the table to beat. Mask-like features combined with monotone dialogue and an inability to perceive subtlety, are just a few of the weapons in the Terminator’s arsenal （along with sawn-off shotguns and RPGs of course）。 Strengths: The Terminator has many things going for him as a poker player, but ultimately its the fact that he comes from the future that would result in him walking off with his opponents’ bankrolls. The Terminator would simply need to watch re-runs of the game on ESPN, go back in time and rectify his plays appropriately. Weaknesses: The Terminator is perpetually involved in warfare between the past and future, which involves a fair amount of time travelling and messing about with the fabric of space and time. There is therefore every chance that he might spontaneously cease to have ever existed, at a random juncture of the game.