赌博带来的困扰：一个赌徒的自述

　　我是一个31岁的成功人士，有着一份良好的工作和支持我的合作伙伴。但是，今天我输光了我的租金和用于公用事业的钱，然后还试图从我的合作伙伴银行账户中获取赌本。

　　在我移居到澳大利亚之前，我染上了毒品，但是后来我成功的把它戒掉了。并在过去的18个月里，我戒掉了酒瘾、玩pokies的嗜好还有其他的一些不良嗜好。

　　我想这是我新生活的开始，它比我曾经在玩pokies的时候下注20美元就赢了10美元的时候还要愉快，即便那时候觉得自己是一个胜利者。

　　本周，我决定完全戒掉自己所有其它不良的嗜好。因此我决定去喝几杯酒，并和几个亲密的朋友共进晚餐，来庆祝我这一年来从来没有意图想去玩pokies的周年纪念日。但是后来，在我离开我的朋友后，最后发现自己一直呆在俱乐部里玩钱，直到太阳出来。

　　这个星期，我失去了4500美元，并试图将输掉的钱赢回来，最后我失去了希望，一整个晚上就这样过去了。我现在输掉了不少钱，我要告诉我的女朋友的是，我将我们5800美元的血汗钱都花在了赌博上。而那个星期后输掉了更多的钱，我曾经某个时候，我还同时是一名吸毒者，我没有告诉我的女朋友。即便我们在一起已经12个月了，但是她还没有发现，我真的很担心当她知道真相之后会怎样看待我。

　　我想我写这篇文章，是因为我从未有得到过任何正式的帮助，同时很希望获得关于毒品问题的电话热线，我希望有什么能够帮助我。能让我感觉到，我可以成为一个让别人接受的人，或者说是拥有生活中最重要的品质即诚实的一个人。

　　译文

　　i'm a 31 year old professional with a good job and supportive partner today i gambled away my rent and utility money then tried to get it back by dipping into my partners bank account.

　　before moving to australia i used to have a major drug habbit which i managed to succesfully kick and have been clean for the last 18 months i used to have a few drinks and a bit of a punt on the pokies when i quit my other addiction.

　　i guess this is where my new one started it only used to take a 20 dollar punt on the pokies and a 10 dollar win to feel like i was a winner and the high that goes with it could best be described at times as euphoric.

　　this week being the anniversary of the end of my other addiction i decided to have a few drinks and dinner with a few close friends to celerbrate i never had any intention to go and play the pokies but found myself at a club after i'd left my friends and had dropped about a grand before i realised the sun was coming up.

　　this week i lost 4500 dollars trying to win back the money i lost that night always with the hope or expectation that this spin might be the one. i am now at a loss as what to tell my girl friend as to where 5800 dollars of our hard earned money has gone i have spent more money this week on gambling then i ever did in the same period as a drug addict i havn't told my girl friend yet nor does she know about my prior addiction as we've been together for the last 12 months and i feared what she might think of me had she known the truth.

　　i guess i'm writing this because i never had any formal help with my drug problem and hope the call to the hotline can help me with what would seem to be a hopeless addiction to anything that would make me feel anything other then the person i know i can be or to be truthfull to the people that really matter in life。