赌徒，爱之深，行之严

　　据美国家庭医生学会调查，大约5-15万美国人患有严重的赌瘾，从而生活受到很大的影响。这是一个跨越社会界限的问题，并越来越多地涉及青少年。赌徒的合作伙伴和家庭也因此深受其害。赌瘾不同于其他瘾，赌博并不总是有明显的迹象。特别是在早期阶段，隐秘性是可以玩这一游戏的重要组成部分。严厉的爱是基于很多有利行为的前提下对各种瘾君子实行的一种方法。这可以从说谎成瘾的人来说，你给他或她一些钱，他就可以否认有这样一个问题。有些人认为，这种对他人的行为来说实际上也是问题的一部分。

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　　观察你所爱的人的行为，有一些典型的迹象，如隐秘或财政方面，情绪波动，或从家庭生活中脱离这些问题。对于一个十几岁青年，尤其是要注意他在计算机上花费的时间量，并注意禁止上赌博网站。要公开做这些事情。

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　　在财政上与赌博成瘾的人分开。如果是用票据支付，这一点尤为重要。赌博是一种瘾，这可能导致一个人失去他的房子，汽车，工作和人际关系。不要借钱给赌徒。不要说谎或掩盖他。拒绝放纵他的行为，特别是他在别人面前时。

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　　敦促有问题的人，以匿名赌徒或赌博问题与全国委员会联系，联系方式是800-522-47000。认知行为疗法通常是用于“重新连接”赌徒的思维过程。赌徒往往因为他们的行为而感到非常的失落。这可能使你不愿意表现出强硬的爱的方式。寻求专业的帮助。这对于让赌徒得到适当的帮助，处理环绕这个问题的复杂和痛苦的情绪来说是至关重要的。

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　　好好照顾自己和其他家庭成员。对成瘾的人的行为，爱之深则要退后一步。要努力确保成瘾的人不控制家庭财务，但是也不在微观管理约束他各个方面的财务行为。

　　译文

　　According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, from 5-15 million Americans suffer from the the effects of serious gambling. This is a problem that crosses social boundaries and increasingly involves young people. The partners and families of gamblers also suffer. Unlike other addictions, gambling does not always have visible signs, and secrecy can play a big part in this behavior, particularly in the early stages. Tough love is based on the premise that much enabling behavior goes on around the addict. This can range from lying for the addict, to giving him or her money, to denying that there is a problem. Some people believe that this behavior on the part of others is actually part of the problem.

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　　Observe the behavior of your loved one, watching for typical signs, such as secrecy or problems with finances, mood swings, or a withdrawal from family life. Take note of the amount of time a teen, in particular, spends on his computer, and consider disabling the gambling sites. Be open about doing this.

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　　Separate your finances from those of the person with the addiction. This is particularly important if bills have to be paid. Gambling is an addiction that can result in a person losing his house, car（s）， job and relationships. Do not lend money to the gambler. Do not lie or cover up for him. Refuse to collude in his behavior, particularly covering up for him before others.

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　　Urge the person with the problem to contact Gamblers Anonymous or the National Council on Problem Gambling, at 800-522-47000. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is often used to "rewire" the gambler's thought processes. Gamblers often feel very low because of their behavior. This may make you reluctant to show a tough-love approach. It is crucial to ask for professional help for yourself, and also for the gambler to get appropriate help to deal with the complex and painful emotions that surround this issue.

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　　Take care of yourself and other members of the family. Tough love involves taking a step back from the behavior of the person with the addiction. While trying to ensure that the person with the addiction does not control the family finances, do not micro-manage every aspect of his financial behavior