痴迷扑克机，大好前途荡然无存

　　大约两年前，我搬到一个新城市。我心想，这是开始我新生活的好机会。获得一份新工作，并且最近完成了大学学位，有一个关心我的女朋友，是的，该有的都有了。但是，自从我迷恋上扑克机，这一切都变了。第一个周末，我在镇上赌博，很快就赢得了不少钱（对那时候的我来说），也就1200元左右。我认为，就是从这一次开始我陷进去了。

　　此后，我继续将心思放在扑克机上。开始的时候下注都比较小，像一百元这样，但很快就转变了。我开始把数千美元一次性投注在扑克机上，这意味着，我所有用于其它方面的资金都用被我用于玩扑克机。在多次的赌博中，我也获得过大赌注，其中有一次超过$ 5000.00，但我输掉的金额绝不止于此。我不能坐下来在扑克机上下很小的赌注，我要下最大的赌注，我想，只有这样，我才能将我输掉的钱都赢回来。

　　在许多场合，我都有骗我的合作伙伴，我已经骗了很多人。我的女朋友在我比赛的最后阶段也发现了，因为我不断地加大赌注，并将她的房子的租金，在食品及各类票据上的开支全都用于赌博。这本来是一个新的生活，而不是生活的苦难和谎言。我一直认为自己是一个很好的人，直到迷恋上了赌博。

　　最近我都没有去赌博。上周到那里一会儿我就回去了。我想，我只花$ 100，但我没有再玩，我已经把我所有其他部分的工资全都花完了。

　　我曾试图寻求帮助，但没有成功。但我想，是时候要停止了。我在不断的抑郁症和休克状态之后，失去了我所有的钱，曾有过多次自杀的念头。本来我以为在这个地方会有一个很好的开始。其实，我是有一个机会从这里开始，只是，由于这种嗜好，我失去了所有的一切。我深深的伤害了那个我非常感谢，非常了解我的美丽伴侣。我不想再让她失望了，我告诉她，从现在开始，我真的会停止赌博。但是我明白，我给了她太多的空头支票，她并不会真的相信我的诺言。

　　这些致命的机器，打破许多人原有的美好生活习惯，我希望大家好运。

　　译文

　　Around two years ago I moved to a new city. I thought to myself, this is a chance to start my new life. A new job, recently finished University degree and a girlfriend who cares about me. Yes it was all working out. This was all changed however once I found the pokies. I sat down on the first weekend that I was in town and had a （at the time for me） big win. This was around $1200 or so. I think that this is what reeled me in.

　　After that point I continued to gamble on the poker machines. Staring small, like a hundred dollars here or there but then things escalated. I have put thousands of dollars throught the pokies. I have taken out loans that were meant to be used for other things and put that money through the pokies. Yes there have been some big wins on the way, one being a win of over $5000.00 but I have lost way, way more than that. I cannot sit down at the pokies and bet small. I have to bet max as I have it in my head that this is the only way to win big, to win some of the money back. I hate it. I put in one hundred and then run to the ATM becuase I think that the respins are coming soon. Three more times of that and I am down to nothing, broke as a joke.

　　I have lied to my partner on numerous occasions. I have lied to many people. She eventually finds out in the end though becuase I am constantly broke and have to crawl to her for help with rent, food and bills. This was meant to be a new life and not a life of misery and lies. I think that I was a good person until this addiction came along.

　　Recently I acually went a little while without gambling but just last week I went back. I thought that I would only spend $100 but I ended up putting the entire remainder of my pay through. Now I have over two weeks to go before my next pay, I have not a cent to my name and to top that off my rego and rent are due before that date. I think that there are many people who read this that can relate to this story.

　　I have tried to seek help once before but never followed through with it. But I want to stop for good this time. I am constantly in a state of depression and shock after I lose my money and have had suicidal thoughts on a number of occasions. Not to say that I would follow through with those thoughts but even to have them is definatly not good for my mental health. I may have another chance at life again as I am moving away from this place very shortly. I had my chance to start here but it did not work out due to this addiction. My beautiful partner has stuck by me which I am very thankful for and to be honest I dont really know how she has. I dont want to let her down anymore. I told her that this time I would really stop I have already given her so many empty promises so I understand that she does not really have faith in my promises.

　　I wish everyone good luck with breaking their habits with these deadly machines.